A Dozen Answers
with a nod to www.LA1st.com
1. Jackie, we're very happy in L.A. to hear you again, on Jackie's Joke Hunt on Sirius (channel Howard 101, Tuesdays 4-7 Pacific, repeats Wednesdays at 9 p.m. Pacific and Saturdays at 11 a.m. Pacific). Does it still seem weird to be able to tell dirty jokes on the radio?
Thanks so much.
Does it seem weird? I've honestly never thought about it while we're cooking. But when I stop and think about it? Yeah, it's great. We can talk on the air like we talk. Hmm...isn't that how it always should have been?
2. With our plethora of comedy clubs, beautiful women, and amazing marijuana, how come you didn't move to L.A. once you became a single man?
What's "plethora" mean?
I'm a New Yorker. I love to visit L.A. (for all of those reasons and many more), but New York is my home. I live on the water on Long Island and in an apartment in the theater district in Manhattan, and commute at night when it's necessary, or I feel like switching energy levels. It's heavenly.
Speaking of women...I'm very single and am enjoying it wayyyy too much. Pretty girls (and anyone) can drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org. I'm a great kisser and had an erection back when Howard ran for Governor of New York.
3. F, Marry, Kill: Pam Anderson, Jenny McCarthy, Britney Spears?
Having sampled them all, I'll have to go with sampling them all again and not harming anyone ever. As for marriage, I'm saving myself for Catherine Keener.
4. It seems like you've had www.jokeland.com forever. Have you ever gotten any big money offers to sell the url to a speculator?
Are you about to make me an offer?
www.jokeland.com used to be incredibly expansive, filled with tons and tone of dirty jokes and stories and photos. I cut it back years ago when I started making kids' joke gadgets with Excalibur Electronics.
But last year we revamped it, and it's about to get out of control again. Now there's video, and lots of jokes from Jackie's Joke Hunt. And it now features CameoHD, which is a technology where a few seconds after you get on www.jokeland.com, I walk onscreen and say hi, in High Def. It's outrageous...you have to go take a look.
As far as speculators and JokeLand Industries, hold on to your hats. Stay tuned. Wild, wild stuff.
5. Stuttering John seems to have the easiest job in Hollywood - he allegedly pretapes his intro's for Jay and then doesn't have to do anything else all day. Will you be hanging out with him when you come out here?
Yeah, John has a great gig. And he has a film coming out, "One, Two, Many." My ex, Nancy (she refers to herself as "Exy"), has a few of her songs in the movie. I usually see John and his lovely wife Suzanna and their adorable kids when I come out. I was the closest to him of any of the Stern characters.
6. The Laugh Factory here in Hollywood has banned the n-word in its club. You are known for your dirty jokes. Have you run across any other clubs across the country that have banned that, or any other word?
That's absurd by definition. Clubs should hire comics who have the sensitivity to do the right thing, not grab anybody off the street and then say, "Adhere to this."
I've never been censored by a club owner. I've been kissed by a few. Hey, when you need work, you need work.
7. While you were on The Howard Stern Show, you guys revolutionized radio. One of the best things that you guys did was sort of like ventriloquism on the radio - you guys had people get naked on the radio. Over your time on the show, who was the most beautiful woman who got naked on the air for you guys?
I loved Elaina Beastie, in the late 80's. She's the sexiest thing that ever walked. She was in our live New Year's Eve Pay-Per-View ("Howard Stern's New Year's Rotten Eve") in the early 90s's. I've heard conflicting reports she may have died...I certainly hope not.
And I was crazy about a girl from Cleveland who had the nickname "Gina Girl," though she was actually the second girl that had been anointed with that name. The other was a tad different. But Gina II was just off the charts hot.
8. Howard takes Fridays off, and some people like The Master Tape Theatre, but some of us can't stand it. If Howard offered to let you do a Jackie show on Fridays would that be something that you would be interested in?
That's an interesting question. Hmmm.
But I've never run into anyone that told me they didn't like them airing the old tapes. Of course, they don't like Howard not being there, but that's not the tapes' fault.
9. Two pretty funny guys are trying to fill in on Howard's time slot here in L.A., Adam Carolla and Danny Bonaduce, but they continue to get horrible ratings. Why do you think that is?
I'm out of that loop, so I didn't know that. I know Billy West jumps on with Adam fairly regularly, and says he's really funny and really generous on the air, so you saying the ratings aren't good really surprises me. All the Stern listeners that didn't make the satellite leap have to listen to somebody, no?
10. It was great hearing you on The Best of Jackie that was played on Sirius last week. I forgot how you and Robin shot back and forth at each other. Do you think she's secretly sad that Howard is getting married?
Is Howard getting married? I know he got engaged, but that's just a very expensive pacifier.
Howard stopping the show would bother Robin. Anything else she'll roll with like the true professional she is. I love her and always have. According to many people who approach me about when I was on the show, me and Robin going at it was one of the best parts of the show.
11. Do you expect any wack packers or special guests to make it to your show this weekend?
I know there are a lot of my old friends and old friends of the show coming, but the actual goofballs? I don't know. I like all of them, but I honestly prefer to get to do my show without too much of the sideshow effect. After the show, of course, we all turn into idiots.
12. There have been some jokes on Jackie's Joke Hunt that you refuse to tell because you think they're too dirty or racist or something. Is there really a line when it comes to comedy on satellite radio?
There's no line, I just infuse my own taste to try and make a show that's the best it can be. I draw a very crooked line, so I'm sure I'm as hypocritical as someone can be if you inspect the show on a joke-to-joke basis.
But I just want the show to be funny. And not mean. Which is a tough premise, because if no one gets hurt, there's no joke.
So to answer your question, my next show is at Ferrara's in Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey, on Friday, August 31st. And did I mention that pretty girls (and anyone) can drop me a line at email@example.com ?
Thanks for reading this.
Bayville, Long Island