Yuk n' Rub Ranch
starring Jackie Martling & Erica McLean
Sheilah Takku, a gorgeous 40-ish single woman (Erica McLean), owns and operates an erotic chocolates company, "eat me." She's struggling, due to the tough economic climate, and needs to make money quickly to save her ranch.
Sheilah's late husband invented electronic chess, and when he passed away, he left her a few surprises that caught her with her financial pants down. Although she's been climbing out of that hole(s) (!), times are a bit rough.
Sheilah's current boyfriend is Dutch Holland, a 50-ish (!) & somewhat decent chap (Jackie Martling) Dutch is a joke-telling comedian (!), and is in need of an angle to jump start his career, too (!).
One night after many bowls of home-grown weed, Sheilah and Dutch come up with the idea of the Yuk n' Rub Ranch. A massage parlour ranch, kind of like The Mustang Ranch, but featuring erotic massages as opposed to brothel-level sex.
They figure they'll cater to both men & women. The customers will come to the ranch for massages, and if they want to, they can tell joke to earn a free massage or any of a veritable cornucopia of sexy and/or joke prize(s)...Yuk n' Rub gift certificates, an opening spot in Jackie's stage show, a guest spot on Jackie's Sirius-XM radio show, Jackie's joke products, etc. They can tell a long joke, a short joke, a few of each, whatever they want. Clean jokes, foul jokes, all's fair game, of course. But jokes, jokes with punch lines. Not comedy routines. And everybody, professionals of any kind & laymen & talking dogs & whoever, are welcome to try their luck.
The customers can bring their own jokes, or if they so choose, they'll be given jokes they can choose from. They can tell as many or as few as they want. Of course, at any point, the audience may ask them...nicely...to stop .
The customers will be taped telling their jokes in a small comedy theater on the ranch. There will be three HD cameras in the theater, and the customers will also be taped pre- and post-performance.
The theater audience will be the whatever staff of Yuk & Rub Ranch isn't at work, the people waiting their turn to tell a joke to win a massage, invited guests...maybe radio winners...press...whoever. The sky's the limit. As previously mentioned, the customers can bring their own jokes, or Sheilah & Dutch will provide them.
If the customer tells a joke on camera good enough to make it onto the Yuk & Rub Ranch web site and/or the Yuk & Rub Ranch TV show and/or one of the series of Yuk & Rub Ranch DVD's and/or whatever, they get a free massage...maybe with a happy ending...guys from a pretty girl, girls from a stud of a guy, and if the customer is gay or bi, whatever floats their boat. The audience will determine who wins or loses & the level of prize if they indeed win.
If the customer stinks at telling a joke, Professor Dutch will coach them. And coach them until they succeed. And that will be taped.
The ranch will be advertised via viral Dutch's joke videos that will flood the internet virally, a terrific web site, e-mail blasts,...
And before The Grand Opening, Dutch & Sheilah will trek cross-country in a Winnebago with a small staff & cameras, making the world aware of what they're about to unleash. They'll do radio & television...stop at malls, comedy clubs...no destination will be too large or too small. They'll give away all kinds of fun promotional stuff, spread tons of cheer top a country that needs it so so badly.
The Yuk n' Rub Bus will of course be tracked & documented every inch of the way on the web site.
Of course, the get-rich-quick element of this is that Sheilah & Dutch think that the creation and then the up-and-running Yuk & Rub Ranch will make a terrific reality show. And that the Yuk & Rub concept is ripe to be franchised all over the world.
Which it is.
