Stump The Listener 218:
Why do women have legs?
So their feet won't smell like pussy.

Stump The Listener 218:
What would you call a lesbian with thick fingers?
Well-hung.

Friedman goes to Hell and is met by the devil.
The devil says, "The punishments are changed every thousand years. You have three choices."
They open the door to the first room and there's a young guy strapped to a pole, being whipped. They open the door to the second room and there's a middle-aged guy being tortured with fire. They open the door to the third room there's an old guy chained to the wall getting a blow job from a pretty blonde.
Friedman says, "I'll take the third room."
The devil taps the blonde on the shoulder and says, "Okay, you can stop. This guy is replacing you."

Stump The Listener 218:
What'd one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?
How're we gonna find an egg in all this shit?

Stump The Listener 218:
What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
Biting into an apple and finding half a worm.

A guy moves next door to a porn star. He goes on a date, and the next day he's in the front yard mowing his lawn.
The porn star says, "How was your date?"
The guy says, "I only got to first base."
The porn star says, "Well, at least you got your asshole licked."

Stump The Listener 218:
What's a wonder?
You stick your finger in your girlfriend's asshole, and then take it out, and if it doesn't smell like shit, it's a wonder.

Stump The Listener 218:
What's the difference between a man's legs and a woman's legs?
The same set of balls is always dangling between a man's legs.

Stump The Listener 218:
What do Pakistani women use for feminine hygiene?
Hindouche.

Stump The Listener 218:
Which of these doesn't fit...a television, a refrigerator, a washing machine, and a woman.
The television. The other three leak when they're fucked.