for your very own Mini JokeMaster Jr. keychain,
please send $25.00 to:
Bayville NY 11709
* 2.5" wide x 3.5" deep * Jackie tells a joke every time his red nose is pushed
* 45 age-appropriate jokes * Jackie's nose lights up when it's pushed
* adjustable volume * batteries included
* ages 3 and up
don't miss "The Jackie snart Special" ... tonight from 6-8 p.m. EST on Sirius-XM Raw Dog 104 ... Jackie will be playing cuts from his new Oglio CD "snart" & taking your phone calls ...this is Jackie's sixth sick & slick Oglio CD, and it's being released this Tuesday, 4/20 ! ... the CD features 25 tracks of filthy jokes & Jackie's theme song, "And I'm Thinkin' About You," and comes with a bonus 60-minute "Stump The Joke Man" DVD ... please call in with your jokes & comments, 1- 866-4-Raw Dog ... that's 1-866-472-9364 ... for more info, www.jokeland.com ... you can always e-mail Jackie, firstname.lastname@example.org ...
"The movie they thought they were making just got real..."
Through a series of freak occurrences, a group of actors shooting a big-budget war movie are forced to become the soldiers they're portraying.
If you'd like to go to a free preview screening of the great new Paramount film "Tropic Thunder" at 7:30 p.m. on Thursday night, July 24th, at AMC Loews Roosevelt Field 8, Roosevelt Field Mall, 630 Old Country Road, in Garden City, NY (click for map), all you need to do is RSVP.
This Thursday, April 24th, at 8 p.m., I'm hosting a free screening of "The Wackness," a great film (especially for you potheads) starring Ben Kingsley, at Roosevelt 8 in The Roosevelt Field Mall in Garden City on Long Island. Come on out! RSVP's madatory ... (212) 445-7100, ext. 13
or e-mail: email@example.com
Play With Jackie was a four-night sold-out smash at manhattan theatre source. Ian & I had the time of our lives with the greatest audiences & the most spectacular of contestants...a splendid experience all around.
The JokeLand Honeys, Isabella & Adi
Nancy Sirianni, Ed McNamee, Rob Perna, & our incredible cast of thousands all worked above & beyond, and it all shows on the High Def tapes.
Soon we'll have a screening of the four shows and invite you all. Thanks for all your support.
I am. I just found out that Venus & Vegas, the film where I make out with Florence Henderson (Mrs. Brady), will be out in a few months. It's a pisser, can't wait.
This Canadian director featured me in her short, "Daddy's Little Girl." This is one of Jessica Hudson's eyes.
Monday night, after seeing Willie Nelson & Family at The Hard Rock Cafe' Times Square, I ran into Jackie Mason on 8th Avenue.
I think, as do most people I like, that Jackie Mason is one of the world's funniest humans.
A few weeks ago, Nancy & I interviewed Jerry Maren, the member of The Lollipop Guild who handed Dorothy the lollipop. Here's Jerry & his wife Elizabeth & Nancy & me singing, "We Represent The Lollipop Guild."
see you in a few weeks, please e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org ...
A guy goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "You're going to have to stop masturbating."
The guy says, "Why?"
The doctor says, "So I can examine you."
Don't miss Ferrara's this Friday, it's always great.
A few weeks ago, I interviewed Jerry Maren, the Munchkin who was the representative of The Lollipop Guild who handed Dorothy a lollipop to welcome her to Oz. We'll be playing clips on Jackie's Joke Hunt.
Marlow & Jerry Maren
Then I went to Los Angeles to do the pilot for "The Pikers," a hillbillies-move-to-the-ghetto sitcom. It was a hoot. I'm Bunky Piker, an embarrassment to Jed Clampett.
I had a great time with my pal Lee Newman and his eclectic assortment of friends. I showed off my Oscar to Ami Dolenz, the daughter of "Circus Boy" from my earliest television memories, Monkee Mickey Dolenz.
Oscar & Marlow & Ami Dolenz
Then on to the grand finale HippieFest, at Humphrey's Concerts-By-The-Bay in San Diego, where I did few jokes between Felix & His Rascals (they brought the house to its feet with "Good Lovin'") and The Zombies. The Turtles, Joey from Badfinger, Country Joe, it was a great show. Don't miss it next year.
Marlow & Donna & Felix Cavaliere
Please stop by again. And please drop me an e-mail at email@example.com .
What a show. I hosted The Austin Freedom Fest, a benefit for The MPP & NORML & WHAM, at The Backyard in Austin, Texas, on Saturday night, August 10th. Willie Nelson, Ray Benson & Asleep At The Wheel, Paula Nelson, Amy Nelson & Cathy Guthrie's Folk Uke, Carolyn Wonderland, & Meagan Tubb. Wow.
Here's me & Willie with Ray behind us as they were leaving the stage..
On Saturday we all had dinner together and Willie and I exchanged a few jokes. Don't worry, you'll be hearing them all, more times than you'd like.
You folks have been clamoring for Jackie's Joke Hunt shirts. Yay.
All of the Jackie's Joke Hunt shirts say Jackie's Joke Hunt on the front. The men's tee shirts come in L, XL, XXL, and XXXL, and are black with blue letters. For the ladies, we have heather (grey) string tops in S and M (S&M?).
All shirts are $20, which includes S&H. Please send a check or money order to:
Bayville NY 11709
Please allow us ample time, we smoke pot.
Lots of our listeners have been e-mailing pictures of themselves in the Jackie's Joke Hunt shirts, and getting free CD's and other JokeLand stuff as our way of saying thanks. Please e-mail them to firstname.lastname@example.org .
So, how do you like Punchlina, The JokeLand Belly Dancer? Please refresh the page a few times and and see her perform a few of her many different incredibly sexy & authentic belly dances. She was taught by The Dancer To The Cream Of Society, Hidah Kumquat.
1. Jackie, we're very happy in L.A. to hear you again, on Jackie's Joke Hunt on Sirius (channel Howard 101, Tuesdays 4-7 Pacific, repeats Wednesdays at 9 p.m. Pacific and Saturdays at 11 a.m. Pacific). Does it still seem weird to be able to tell dirty jokes on the radio?
Thanks so much.
Does it seem weird? I've honestly never thought about it while we're cooking. But when I stop and think about it? Yeah, it's great. We can talk on the air like we talk. Hmm...isn't that how it always should have been?
2. With our plethora of comedy clubs, beautiful women, and amazing marijuana, how come you didn't move to L.A. once you became a single man?
What's "plethora" mean?
I'm a New Yorker. I love to visit L.A. (for all of those reasons and many more), but New York is my home. I live on the water on Long Island and in an apartment in the theater district in Manhattan, and commute at night when it's necessary, or I feel like switching energy levels. It's heavenly.
Speaking of women...I'm very single and am enjoying it wayyyy too much. Pretty girls (and anyone) can drop me a line at email@example.com. I'm a great kisser and had an erection back when Howard ran for Governor of New York.
Having sampled them all, I'll have to go with sampling them all again and not harming anyone ever. As for marriage, I'm saving myself for Catherine Keener.
4. It seems like you've had www.jokeland.com forever. Have you ever gotten any big money offers to sell the url to a speculator?
Are you about to make me an offer?
www.jokeland.com used to be incredibly expansive, filled with tons and tone of dirty jokes and stories and photos. I cut it back years ago when I started making kids' joke gadgets with Excalibur Electronics.
But last year we revamped it, and it's about to get out of control again. Now there's video, and lots of jokes from Jackie's Joke Hunt. And it now features CameoHD, which is a technology where a few seconds after you get on www.jokeland.com, I walk onscreen and say hi, in High Def. It's outrageous...you have to go take a look.
As far as speculators and JokeLand Industries, hold on to your hats. Stay tuned. Wild, wild stuff.
5. Stuttering John seems to have the easiest job in Hollywood - he allegedly pretapes his intro's for Jay and then doesn't have to do anything else all day. Will you be hanging out with him when you come out here?
Yeah, John has a great gig. And he has a film coming out, "One, Two, Many." My ex, Nancy (she refers to herself as "Exy"), has a few of her songs in the movie. I usually see John and his lovely wife Suzanna and their adorable kids when I come out. I was the closest to him of any of the Stern characters.
6. The Laugh Factory here in Hollywood has banned the n-word in its club. You are known for your dirty jokes. Have you run across any other clubs across the country that have banned that, or any other word?
That's absurd by definition. Clubs should hire comics who have the sensitivity to do the right thing, not grab anybody off the street and then say, "Adhere to this."
I've never been censored by a club owner. I've been kissed by a few. Hey, when you need work, you need work.
7. While you were on The Howard Stern Show, you guys revolutionized radio. One of the best things that you guys did was sort of like ventriloquism on the radio - you guys had people get naked on the radio. Over your time on the show, who was the most beautiful woman who got naked on the air for you guys?
I loved Elaina Beastie, in the late 80's. She's the sexiest thing that ever walked. She was in our live New Year's Eve Pay-Per-View ("Howard Stern's New Year's Rotten Eve") in the early 90s's. I've heard conflicting reports she may have died...I certainly hope not.
And I was crazy about a girl from Cleveland who had the nickname "Gina Girl," though she was actually the second girl that had been anointed with that name. The other was a tad different. But Gina II was just off the charts hot.
8. Howard takes Fridays off, and some people like The Master Tape Theatre, but some of us can't stand it. If Howard offered to let you do a Jackie show on Fridays would that be something that you would be interested in?
That's an interesting question. Hmmm.
But I've never run into anyone that told me they didn't like them airing the old tapes. Of course, they don't like Howard not being there, but that's not the tapes' fault.
9. Two pretty funny guys are trying to fill in on Howard's time slot here in L.A., Adam Carolla and Danny Bonaduce, but they continue to get horrible ratings. Why do you think that is?
I'm out of that loop, so I didn't know that. I know Billy West jumps on with Adam fairly regularly, and says he's really funny and really generous on the air, so you saying the ratings aren't good really surprises me. All the Stern listeners that didn't make the satellite leap have to listen to somebody, no?
10. It was great hearing you on The Best of Jackie that was played on Sirius last week. I forgot how you and Robin shot back and forth at each other. Do you think she's secretly sad that Howard is getting married?
Is Howard getting married? I know he got engaged, but that's just a very expensive pacifier.
Howard stopping the show would bother Robin. Anything else she'll roll with like the true professional she is. I love her and always have. According to many people who approach me about when I was on the show, me and Robin going at it was one of the best parts of the show.
11. Do you expect any wack packers or special guests to make it to your show this weekend?
I know there are a lot of my old friends and old friends of the show coming, but the actual goofballs? I don't know. I like all of them, but I honestly prefer to get to do my show without too much of the sideshow effect. After the show, of course, we all turn into idiots.
12. There have been some jokes on Jackie's Joke Hunt that you refuse to tell because you think they're too dirty or racist or something. Is there really a line when it comes to comedy on satellite radio?
There's no line, I just infuse my own taste to try and make a show that's the best it can be. I draw a very crooked line, so I'm sure I'm as hypocritical as someone can be if you inspect the show on a joke-to-joke basis.
But I just want the show to be funny. And not mean. Which is a tough premise, because if no one gets hurt, there's no joke.
So to answer your question, my next show is at Ferrara's in Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey, on Friday, August 31st. And did I mention that pretty girls (and anyone) can drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org ?
I'm thrilled to tell you I'll be co-hosting "The Austin Freedom Fest", a Willie Nelson benefit concert in support of The Marijuana Policy Project (MPP) and NORML at The Backyard in Austin, Texas, on Friday night, August 10th.
I've been a strong supporter of the MPP for a few years, and they're really the goods.
In their quest to get medical marijuana on state ballots and then eventually passed, I believe that they're also finally going to get pot legalized, or at least decriminalized, and most importantly, get the government to stop wasting countless millions of dollars chasing and busting and incarcerating pot smokers, money that could go towards projects that are worthwhile.
I hope you're enjoying Jackie's Joke Hunt. It's more fun for Ian and I every week. This Tuesday, July 17th, is The Athletic Hunt...don't miss it.
So, it's been a while since I got around to this, so sorry. Just did a great film with my pal Tom Ellis, "The Failure," where I play a congressman. Should be ready for the independent film festival circuit by Fall 2007.
I just loaded all the jokes from Jackie's Joke Hunt 32 onto my blog, so go steal a few. I plan on getting all of the jokes from all of the Joke Hunts on here eventually.
Jackie's Joke Hunt tee shirts are now available...men's L, XL, XXL, and XXXL...women's tank tops S and M (S&M?)
Just send $20 (includes shitting) to:
Bayville NY 11709
My new dirty joke CD, Snart, will be done by the summer. ("Snart" is quickspeak for "it's an art" ... if bowling is a sport, joke telling is an art ...)
Most of the CD was recorded at "Giggles," my old pal Mike Clarke's club in Saugus, Massachusetts. Man, did I have a pair of killer shows there last month. Steven Wright opened the first show, priming himself for Letterman. Love that guy.
Anyone who e-mails me gets added to the JokeLand E-Mail List. I send out e-mail blasts a couple of times a month, announcing my shows and whatever else, and always intersperse a few jokes to make it worth the read.
Jackie & the real Kramer, Kenny The Joey Reynolds Show, 11-07-06
I did Joey's show with Kenny and my two old chums Ritch Shydner and Mark Schiff, who've assembled a great collection of comedians' road stories in a great, great book called "I Killed: Stories of the Road." You'll love it...get yourself a copy at www.amazon.com...
Yeah, I'm going to be doing a radio show, on Sirius Satellite Radio, every Tuesday in October, with my good pal and fellow Friar, the very smart & funny & handsome & successful Ian Karr. (You may ask, what the hell does he need this aggravation for? Well, call us up and ask.)
The basic premise of the show is that after listening to us for an hour, we guarantee you'll come away with a great joke to tell to your friends, if you have any. Of course, if they listen to the show, too, you're out of luck, our premise flies out the window, and I'll soon be back working in comedy clubs. Wait...I am working in comedy clubs.
We of course invite you to try to stump me with a joke, via the phone, e-mail (email@example.com), letter, carrier pigeon, whatever. Anyone who stumps me will win some of the JokeLand crap I give out anyway.
All we guarantee is that it'll be fun. And if it's not, then obviously our guarantee sucked. Starting next Tuesday, and every Tuesday after that, I'll expect you to be speakerside with us from 7-8 p.m. Eastern. The show will repeat on Wednesdays at midnight and on Saturdays at 2 p.m.
Posted on October 5, 2006 4:57 PM
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